


you are my favorite what if

by donutcats



Category: Life with Derek
Genre: Angst, F/M, casey gets married but not to derek, it's short but I'm still proud of it so shrug emoji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 15:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5422193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutcats/pseuds/donutcats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one really talks about unhappy ever afters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are my favorite what if

He remembers Casey's wedding, remembers sitting on the couch as Casey got ready.

Her mother and sister are frantic, scurrying around, getting things ready, messing with her hair and makeup and dress.

But Casey-

Casey is oddly calm, oddly un-Casey-like, watching as Nora and Lizzie bustle about with steady eyes.

He waits until they leave, off to do something or other, before speaking. She was fixing her makeup, gently wiping away the layers her mother had smeared on.

"Nervous?" He remembers playing with his cufflink, trying not to seem as twitchy as he felt. It wasn't even his wedding and he wanted to throw up.

She makes a noise, swipes away the blue eyeshadow with a wipe, "Not really."

"Casey McDonald, not nervous," an amused snort, "that's a first." She gives a snort as well. "Think you're making a mistake?"

He meant it as a joke, as a jab, as the truth disguised as something else.

She meets his eyes in the mirror, placing the wipe on the vanity, one eye still slightly blue. "Yes."

He doesn’t say anything to her then, no advice or wise words, no 'then let's get out of here' or anything witty. Instead, he looks away, rubbing a hand over his mouth.

He only looks back when she’s standing in front of him, now in her dress. "Mind buttoning me up?"

Neither one of them mention how his fingers brush against the skin of her back before each button.

\---

A little later, Derek is having problems with his tie, he keeps knotting it wrong and then practically ripping it out to try again, so Casey sighs, slaps his hands away, and starts tying it for him.

His frown has subsided, as if her fingers smoothed out his mouth along with his tie, and for a minute, as she looks up at him, both of them dressed for the occasion, Casey forgets he's not the one that will be waiting for her at the end of the aisle.

"How mad do you think your mom would be if I walked you down the aisle?" His mouth is curling into a smirk, but it doesn't reach his eyes.

Casey smooths down his lapels, let's herself return the artificial smile. "Planning on giving me away?"

Derek tucks a curl of hair behind her ear, "Seems only fair, really." He let's his thumb brush along her cheek, just long enough for her smile to drop.

They do what they do best, they ignore the moment.

They stand like that for a bit, just staring at each other. They're so close, they can feel the other breathing.

The moment is ruined though by Nora bursting in, news about the caterer rolling off the tongue.

Derek steps away first, eyes flicking over Casey's lips one last time, and before she can say anything, he's reaching for her vanity.

"Here, wear that red lipstick you love so much."

She catches the tube in her hands, watches as he brushes past Nora to leave.

They both know she hardly wears red lipstick, isn’t a big fan of it in all actuality, but she puts in on anyways, applies it carefully as Nora fastens the veil into her hair, because they both know Derek loves the rare occasions when she does wear it.

\---

At the reception, when Casey is dancing with her new husband, Derek grabs her and whisks her away to dance with him, and she's laughing, letting him spin her.

When they're dancing, Derek with his jacket lost, shirt sleeves rolled up and tie loose, and Casey with her hair down, shoes abandoned, they can get wrapped up in the idea that this is their wedding.

That they're bride and groom, dancing at their reception, that Casey is smiling that brightly, laughing that loudly as Derek dips her, because of _him_. Because Derek was the one at the end of that aisle.

He spins her, let's her dance as expertly as she can in a wedding dress, before showing off some of his own moves, making her laugh even harder, and she doesn't think she's ever felt so happy.

But then, he's there, her new husband, smiling at their antics and asking if he can cut in, and something in Casey drops.

Derek motions to her, says "Take her, she was stepping on my feet anyways." But his smile seems too tight, and all of a sudden her dress doesn't seem so white.

She wonders when her life became an angsty country song.

\---

He remembers when the divorce was finalized.

He remembers her now ex husband sneering at him, "I bet this is all your fault."

He wanted to claim it, wanted to sneer back and say  _fuck yes, yes it's all my fault because I'll always be more important to Casey than you could ever be._

But he didn't, instead he said, "No wonder she divorced you," with a scoff, because Casey's waiting for him and he could almost hear her asking him not to start a scene.

He remembers that was the night she said she loved him, over multiple glasses of wine that turned into beer.

"I love you," she said it like a fact, a statement, in a very Casey-like way as she reorganizes every photo album to suit the new change in her life.

He should have been shocked, should have been some shade of surprised. He knows if he was still a teenager, he would have choked and spluttered, but now he's in his 30's and it's not as much of a shock.

"At least we have something in common, I love me too."

"Derek," she gives him a Look, and he can’t help but smile in return, one of his small genuine smiles.

"I love you," adding _too_ onto the end of it felt wrong somehow, like it would have been more of a reply than a fact.

She smiles back, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, and then she was back to her photo album, and things seemed to shift and slot back into normal.

"Would you mind picking some stuff up for me at the store tomorrow?"

For all intents and purposes, that night never happened.

 **  
** There are no happily ever afters here, but there are small victories, fleeting as they are.

 


End file.
